Thursday, June 22, 2017

I Forgot His Birthday

Every day is filled with lessons in leadership. This day was no exception.

It was the second to last day of school, a Monday. The day was going to be filled with celebrations and activities. The weekend had been a busy one. I was at a basketball tournament in Ohio with the boys, which was fun. But typically, I take a few moments over the weekend to reflect and plan for the week ahead, however that didn’t happen since we were so busy with games and traveling. So, as I drove into school, I walked through the schedule of the day, all the places I wanted to be sure to stop by and see.

The morning started well, everything falling into place. The bell rang for school to begin, so I took my post in the office to read the announcements. I prepare the announcements a day in advance - one less thing to think about in the morning. The kids were all ready for the announcements, in their places to say the pledge for the whole school, when I looked down at the announcement paper and saw it. My youngest son was celebrating his summer birthday today and I forgot all about it.

Tears began to well in my eyes. I’m such a terrible mom. It was on our refrigerator. I had it marked on the calendar. My secretary saw the horror in my eyes, gave me a reassuring chuckle, and I pulled myself together for the kids in front of me, sharing the announcements with the school in my cheery voice.

When the announcements were finished, I quickly retreated to my office and broke down in tears. The world around me was spinning, my focus on everything but what really mattered. I forgot my son’s birthday celebration.

After pulling myself together, I quickly texted my husband to see if he was available to run to the store to pick up treats. No luck. Then, I texted his teacher to see when they were going to celebrate his birthday, trying to figure out in between the assembly celebrations and programs when I could possibly get to the store to pick up treats. His teacher texted me back with an early afternoon time, so I had a short window to make it happen. She shared, “He told me he didn’t have his treats, but also said that he knows his mom didn’t forget and the treats are in your office.” Wow, I’m glad HE had faith in me!

The celebration assemblies came and went, and I scurried away to pick up treats for the class. They were in my office at just the right time for my little guy to pick up, and so he never knew the true story. Crisis averted.

In the grand scheme of things, the situation is rather minor. However, this experience still sits with me, even after school is out and all has settled a bit. It sits with me because it was a very important lesson for me to realize. You can never be your best for others or be able to take care of others the way you need to if you do not take care of yourself first.

As a leader, I want to do all I can to take care of the people around me. I know that if I do this, they will be better for those they serve, our students. I want to ensure all the ducks are in a row, giving my staff less to worry about so they can focus on the students. As a mom and wife, I aim to do the same. Take care of it so others don’t have to worry about it.

The problem is I never gave myself time to stop. Every person has to stop to rest their mind, reflect, and rejuvenate. Without whitespace, we are not of clear mind to make good decisions or ensure we are our best for others. If all we do is fill the buckets of others but never fill our own buckets, then our bucket will run dry at some point. If our bucket is dry, then we have no more to give. I determined I was at that point.

Thankfully, all was resolved that day and my son didn’t have a clue what had happened. Minor issue that was resolved without too much trouble. However, there may come a circumstance that doesn’t end as well, and it will all be due to my absent-mindedness caused by a lack of necessary whitespace.

It is critical as leaders that we rejuvenate and recharge. It is imperative that we take time for ourselves, filling our own buckets, so that we can be our best for others. We need to fill those buckets often, not just during breaks or weekends. People depend on us, and I want those around me to know they can count on me at all times. And so, this summer, I plan to rejuvenate and fill my bucket, but also make a change so that I can continue this practice in order to be my best for others all days of the year.


  1. Thanks, Amy. I really needed this today. Hope all is well!

  2. I know exactly how you feel! I have been down the same path- the panic feeling we have when we realIze what has been forgotten is memorable!!

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