Defeat

Defeat. No one likes it. Everyone experiences it. The best will tell you we learn from defeat. It is never easy to experience it yourself, let alone watch your own children go through it. Today was one of those days.

I grew up in Iowa, wrestling country. Dan Gable, the Brand boys, University of Iowa wrestling were household names and wrestling was our winter sport. Many of my friends in high school wrestled. We would have a packed gym. So, I knew when I had children, I wanted them to wrestle. The irony is that I live in Indiana, the basketball state. Too funny.

Today was like many winter Sundays, spent with a very early morning drive to make weigh-in for the wrestling tournament. We have done this countless times before, all three of my boys wrestling, even my little guy at a whole 37 pounds. The day started like all others, rolling out of the driveway when it is still dark, packed car of blankets, gear, and food.

The boys weighed in like all other times, warmed up, and seemed ready to go, until the first match. Little guy lost in a pin, didn’t have his head in the game. Loss 1. Next was Gus. A win with a pin! That would be the only win of the day. As the brackets moved, the boys fought hard, but each time just didn’t sink the win. As the day wore on, their demeanor deflated. And this wasn’t our first rodeo of losses! But today it harder than usual. The struggles, the pain, the heartache of pushing yourself so hard, but not quite enough to win the match.

While it was hard for my boys, it was especially hard for me. I don’t like seeing my boys feel defeat. I don’t like watching them struggle or feel frustration, even after the reassuring smile, pat on the back, or positive words. I can see it in their eyes that they don’t believe me right now that it will be okay and we will have a better weekend next weekend. At one point, I felt the notion that they wanted to stop wrestling all together, stop pursuing the sport, just call it quits.

But quitting is not an option. I want my boys to know that we finish things out, even if it is to finish the season to try something else next year. We don’t quit. We finish strong, no matter what. I want to take the pain and frustration away, because that is what moms do, but I know this is learning in the trenches.

When I think of our schools, our students, our teachers, this is the mindset I want to instill in others. No matter what is thrown at schools by the state, we push through it, because we cannot just throw up our hands and call it a defeat. We need to find a way, change what we do, prepare differently, so that we can have a strong outcome for our students.

When teachers try a new lesson or new technique and it fails, we should not throw up our hands in defeat, but rather try it again, but differently, and keep pushing through to find what works for our students.

And most importantly, when our students struggle, are frustrated, and are feeling defeat, we don’t allow them to stop, we don’t back down and make things easier, we encourage, support, and find another way to help them.

Teaching our children about “defeat” and “failure” are essential. We cannot expect perfection - they are kids. Kids will make mistakes. They will not behave perfectly all of the time. Students will not reach “at grade level” at the same time, in the same way, or at the same pace as other students. So, we must embrace “defeat” as a mindset, as a hurdle, so that we never quit, but keep moving forward toward the goal.

Defeat is a mindset. As is failure. I like to think of these types of things as setbacks, obstacles, or hurdles. Simply, we all learn from what we do, and isn’t that what it is all about? Learning so that we can have a different outcome next time. Defeat means that we give up. Our path is done. No opportunities await. I would rather not think this way. With “defeat” comes learning, growing, and then trying again.

We all feel defeat. We all experience failure. How are we modeling our attitude and mindset during those times for those around us? How are we supporting our children through it all?

Next Sunday, we have another wrestling tournament. And we will be ready. Because it is not how many times you feel defeat or how badly you feel it, but it is how you get up from the defeat you experience and make the best of it, changing your preparation, learning from the experience to do better next time. It is not the wins or losses, but the mindset we carry with us that life is a learning adventure that makes us better each day.

Opportunity

2018 came in with wonderful memories. My family spent New Year’s Eve in Indianapolis, starting new traditions that we will continue for years to come. Our love of sports finished the year, with a Colts game and Pacers game, then a late night "snack" at Steak n’ Shake before the Indy car dropped in below zero temperatures. We had a blast, and 2018 came in while I was hanging out with my favorite people in the world, those who will always be there, through thick and thin.

For the past few years, I have followed in the footsteps of great leaders and educators, setting One Word to guide my path for the year, giving me a focus instead of a resolution. Last year was a year of ups and downs, and in some instances, the downs got the best of me for periods of time. This year, while we all experience ups and downs, I want those downs to become something positive for me, not become negative defining moments.

This year, I have struggled to narrow my One Word. I thought about the word, Hope. Hope for those around me, hope in all that surrounds us. But it just didn’t feel right in my current state.

Rejuvenate sat with me for a while. A good word, one I truly need to reflect more on and follow through with in order to be my best for others. But I did not want to define my year with rejuvenation.

And then it hit me. While standing in sub-zero weather close to midnight on New Year’s Eve, everything around us is filled with opportunity. With my family huddled together, counting down, this was a great opportunity for memories, new traditions. We could have focused on the cold or how tired we all were, but we focused our attention on the opportunity of the memories we were making together. The word Opportunity resonated.

And so, for 2018, it is all about opportunity.

Our opportunity to make the best of every situation.

Our opportunity to build great opportunities for kids.

My opportunity to support my staff in their work and endeavors to grow themselves.

My opportunity support our students through their creative and innovative learning adventures.

My opportunity to learn, grow, and delve into my strengths as a leader.

My opportunity to be a mom and wife for my family, being present for them when I’m with them.

My opportunity to take a look at who I am and where I want to be in order to build more and better opportunities for our kids.

Opportunities are all around us. It is up to us whether we take those opportunities for the better and run with them. We can focus on the negative, or we can focus on the opportunity where we can make things better.

I want to embrace opportunities this year, making the most of each one that comes my way, my family’s way, or my school’s way. This year, I seek those opportunities and hold on to them for the betterment of those around me, as well as find those opportunities that will continue to push me as a leader.

Our Maker Mindset

There is no greater joy than watching children create something. Whether the creating is done solo or in a group, thinking is visible. You can see the “wheels turning”. Hands-on work requires trial and error. If something doesn’t work, a child doesn’t stop working, but instead tries something else without prompting.

Making is a natural gift we each possess. We are all makers, talented in different ways.

I love telling stories of my own boys, so here is one of their making adventures.

On a weekend day, I decided it was time to clean the garage. I enlisted my boys to help in the project. They were not thrilled with the thought of cleaning the garage, so I told them after they helped me move “stuff”, they could play. We cleared out as much “stuff” as we could, piling it into our driveway, so I could rearrange and clean up shelves and sweep the entire garage. While I did that, my boys “discovered” the cardboard.

Our cardboard recycling pile was quite large at that time. A few big boxes from my Amazon Dash purchases of paper towels and toilet paper had accumulated. As I worked, I saw my boys gather these boxes in a pile and start talking. I didn’t hear the conversation, just saw it in action. All of a sudden, my oldest had his legs in two boxes, the other two helping him “suit up”. I kept working, not interfering or guiding, and let the making take place.

While I worked, so did they. They planned, talked, gathered, and worked. A few times, the two youngest would veer off to hit some golf balls into the yard while my oldest worked, cutting and taping. “Mom, do we have more duct tape?” I found another roll in the garage and off they went again.

While I steadily cleaned and organized the garage, the boys worked on their creation as well. Engaged. Trial and error. No tears, but diligence in solving a problem.

Before I knew it, I heard the laughter and squeals. I turned around to find my son had transformed into a cardboard robot. Nothing fancy. Pure pride shining through. Each boy had to try on the robot suit, and when it didn’t quite fit my youngest, they made adjustments to make it work. “Mom, look at us! We are robots!” Of course, I had to take their picture!

Watching them work on this one project made me reflect on our maker mindset. My boys “make” all of the time, whether it is a game or a storyline they are acting out, they are making. There might not always be an end product to put on the refrigerator or hang in the hallway, but their projects are always worth attention. Making flows through their veins, and as their mother and as an educator, it is my duty to not only encourage their making, but foster it.

At home, my boys’ making is free to their will usually. They make what they want, design it from what they can find, and problem-solve their way through any issues that arise. This is a wonderful way for my kids to discover the possibilities, find their own solutions, and create their own projects.

A couple of years ago at our school, we created a really cool Makerspace. It was a team effort, starting from gutting our old computer lab to building a flexible space for collaboration. We put in materials from all around the school, purchased some cool tools, gadgets, and materials, and kids started making. To begin, it was a novelty. Today, it is something much different.

Each day, I spend time in the Makerspace with kids. It is the best way to start my day. I talk with kids, work with kids, make with kids, and listen to kids as they create and collaborate on their projects. It is awesome to share about the transformation that took place, and now even more exciting to share about our student makerspace team and the awesome curriculum ties we are building. Why? Because now it is not just about a space. It is a mindset we are instilling within the culture of our school.

Yes, it is great to say, “We have a Makerspace in our elementary school.” But it is even better to share how the concept of this space is now infiltrating our instruction, becoming a part of our learning culture, and a mindset that is found in our students and adults in the school. What is even better than that is when parents and community members drop off materials and say, “I know your kids can create something with this.” We all see the possibilities. We come together, pull together our resources so we empower the maker within our children.

Making is a mindset, not a space. It is our job to ensure our students have the opportunities and time to make. Play and making should not escape our schools. Too often in recent years, it has. We need to bring it back. It is within these experiences embedded in play, making, trial and error, problem-solving, and critical thinking that kids build relevance and rigor into the curriculum. So much of what we teach today can and should be done through the element of “doing”. Kids need to experience it if we want them to not only remember it, but transfer the knowledge and apply it to something new. These are life skills, not fluff done a few times per year.

As a leader, it is my duty to empower those around me. I want to empower them to try new things, problem-solving and taking risks. Making supports this. I want to empower my students to create and think through their own solutions. I model and am part of the culture of this. That is why I open the makerspace every morning. When a leader values making by modeling and engaging with it in the daily routine, the rest of the school culture takes note, building from this and taking it to new heights. If a leader not only believes it is important, but models the way, then the culture of the maker mindset will set in.

However, a leader cannot do it alone. I know our makerspace did not come together because of me. The team pulled this together. We had discussions, shared ideas, and now that the makerspace is a daily part of our school, the team is modeling the way for others, sharing resources and co-teaching with other classes to bring making into their classrooms. It is a team effort. Making is a mindset. Not just a space used every once in awhile.

Our job as educators is to ensure our kids have the opportunities to grow for their future. There is a maker in all of us. It needs fostered and developed so that we apply the skills and knowledge we learn to something new. Making is not about a space we create in our school with cool tools and gadgets. It is a mindset we instill in what we do to help our students AND our adults build for the future.

Solitaire

I admit it. I’m addicted. I’m a Solitaire junkie.

Solitaire was the first card game my dad taught me. I learned it the “old-fashioned” way, with cards. I remember playing for hours. I wanted to win the game. I would “see” the card I need and try everything in my power to make that card appear.

Today, I typically play the game on my phone, although now I’m the one teaching my boys the “old-fashioned” way. There is just something about the feel of the cards, counting, flipping, moving them around on the table or floor that makes it all the more fun.

Now, though, I play the game to wind down from the day.  It’s not all about winning the game, even though that is a nice, added bonus! While I love reading, writing, or tweeting late in the evening, I have found that would keep my mind racing well into the wee hours of the night. After reading a chapter in a great book, I would find myself jumping up out of bed with a thought or idea, and never really making it back to the sound sleep I once had before.

There would be evenings as well where I was so tired that I found myself falling asleep with my computer on my lap, or the book folded up in my hands. I was not giving the attention or thought to what I was doing if I was in that state of mind either.

So, about 4-5 months ago, right before bed, instead of picking up a book or turning on my laptop, I flipped on my phone and found Solitaire. Just 5 minutes of iPhone Solitaire did the trick to put my mind at rest from school thoughts so that I could get a better night’s sleep.

Sleep is still too short, but now, I am not waking in the middle of the night to a thought or idea I just read. I am not still contemplating a Twitter chat topic or blog post. While all of these are awesome and amazing, and I still glean so much from them, I have discovered that just 5 minutes of winding down is imperative to help me clear my mind. Mindful leadership begins with taking care of oneself. If I don’t do this as a leader, I am not at my best for those around me.

Whether it is an iPhone game of Solitaire, or another activity for someone else, every person needs to find their niche to wind down from the day. Our days are busy. Our minds race. My to-do list grows. But unless I find a moment to calm from it all, my anxiety soars and productivity plummets.

Just 5 minutes is all it takes. And each morning when I wake up for a new day, my Solitaire addiction is worth it.

Better Together

I often hear and say the phrase, “We are better together”. I truly believe this to be true, and when I come across a story that exemplifies this phrase, I take note, jotting it down to share with others.

At our house in the country, we have a wood burner that we use to heat the house during the winter. It is a wonderful, warm heat, and well worth the work it takes to heat the home. Last year, we were not quite sure how much wood we would use, and so we did what we could throughout the winter to chop wood and buy a few chords of wood here or there to make due. This year though, we are much more aware of how much wood we need to heat our house, and so we saved our money and bought some chords of wood to be prepared before winter hits.

These past couple of weeks, we ordered 6 chords of wood, giving us time to stack the wood and get ourselves set before any cold weather ever comes our way. When it is dropped off, it is dumped from truck in a huge pile, and the family all pitches in to get the job done.

This weekend, it was time to stack the wood, but all the boys were a bit tired, suffering from small summer colds, so my husband and I went out to stack the wood ourselves. We had beautiful weather - not too warm, a nice breeze, and a few clouds every once in a while to break up the sun. Pandora played our favorite Journey station, and we sang a few tunes while we worked. We worked for about an hour, almost finishing one chord, moving it from a pile in the grass to a nice stack next to the wood burner.

All of a sudden, I looked up from my work and noticed our oldest, Alex, on his way out, putting on his gloves. He didn’t say a thing, just picked up a piece of wood and started helping. The team just kept on trucking, making great progress on the chords of wood sitting in our yard. Not many words were said; it was a well-oiled machine of pitching in together to get a job done.

With the three of us working, we got the chords of wood stacked much faster than when it was just two of us. But as soon as we were done, another chord of wood was delivered, the last one for the weekend. For my husband and I, we were tired and my knee was hurting badly. And so, it was time for the ENTIRE team to get to work.

With a little coaxing, all 5 of us were out there, one more chord of wood to go. Music blaring, we were an assembly line of wood stackers. What took my husband and I a little over an hour to stack one chord, with all 5 of us working, we got it done in about 40 minutes. Teamwork works. It is not just more hands on deck getting the work done. It feels good to work together as a team for a common goal.

That night, we celebrated with Dairy Queen. A job well done.

Better together. When we work together, not only are we more efficient in our work, but we do a better job in the end.

I think back to a couple of years ago when our school started its work and conversation on establishing power standards in reading, writing, and math. If one person did this work, it would have not been efficient. It would have not been effective. And there would definitely not have been the empowerment and buy-in into the process and the outcome that was inevitably created through the process. We were truly better together, sharing thoughts and ideas, discussing experiences and knowledge, and building a vertical alignment of skills that we wanted for our students.

We were better together.

I think to my PLN, this plethora of ideas and knowledge on social media. My closest educator PLN friends are people I trust, with only a few I have met, but who I lean on for advice, ideas, and knowledge on how we all can become better together. Whether it is listening to their brilliance on Voxer or reading their tweets and blogs, I learn from them, and know in my heart that being connected means we are better together.

Being an educator is not a career of isolation. And while we all have time for reflection by ourselves, we grow together so we are better for our kids. We collaborate, work together to achieve a common goal, and share our knowledge with one another. Better together is not just a phrase; it is a way of life.

As a new school year is about to begin, I am excited for the opportunity to become better together, as we work together toward our vision of focusing on our instruction and growth as a school. We truly are better together for our kids!

Back to School Meetings...Inspiring or Procedural?

It is time to go back to school, which means staff meetings. Are these exciting or procedural? Inspirational, or a long list of things to do?

A few years ago, the staff meetings I prepared were ridiculously long. I greatly apologize to any teacher who has sat through them. I would spend two weeks preparing the presentation, incorporating inspirational videos and quotes, filling in policies and procedures where I could. I would make copies of sign-off sheets, sign-up sheets, and schedules galore. While I tried to excite and inspire my staff, I mostly covered the housekeeping and required sign-offs, taking nearly 2-3 hours of their time on the first staff day.

I didn’t know any differently. I just created what I used to sit through as a teacher. However, that is no excuse. Just because that is the method of the past, doesn't mean it is best today, right? And, time is precious. Do I want my teachers preparing for their students or listening to me? That is not a hard question to answer.

So, I had to make a change. On the first days of school, teachers want and need to be in their classrooms getting ready for the start of school.  Their first impression with students and parents is just as important as the first staff meeting’s first impression. In addition, this is valuable time to continue the collaborative processes with colleagues in their teams.

Ultimately, I needed to make better use of the time during the first staff days, however, we still want to meet as a staff to bring together our vision and drive for the new school year.

So, how can we maximize time, cover all we need to cover with policies, procedures, and vision, and still inspire and create excitement for the upcoming school year?

Flip it.

I have seen teachers use this method, and the results are outstanding. Not only are students engaged, asking questions, and getting the help they need, but the use of time can be more effective and efficient.

And so, for the past couple of years, I have been trying to use the time with my staff differently, allocating more time on discussion and reflection, building our vision together, thus spending less time on procedures and policies.

Today, I flip all policy and procedural information at the beginning of the year, making videos and Google Forms for sign-offs. The videos are beautifully integrated into the Google Form, making it easy for teachers to watch and complete. I screencast staff handbook information as well, plus some important reminders as we start school. I load everything in Google Classroom and give teachers a month to complete it all, taking care of all those required duties and expectations. It is not lost in email, but always in a location that is easy to find.

Even more than that, within one of the forms, I provide a space for questions. If a staff member has a question, they can type it there privately, and I will respond privately to them by either stopping by their classroom or emailing the answer.

I have found so many advantages of flipping information for my staff, not only using this strategy at the beginning of the school year, but I use it throughout the year to front-load discussion meetings, send housekeeping information out each month, and create how-to videos when we start something new. It has saved time for all, but more importantly, it has transformed our staff meetings into collaborative discussions.

This switch was about a change in culture, not about a cool tool. I used a strategy to better make use of the time we have as a staff, intentionally making time for what is truly important - our collective growth to be our best for our students.

While it was a change at first, now this is deeply embedded in the culture of our school. I have watched this strategy transform our classrooms as well, with information delivered via video to our students, so they can watch it multiple times, so more time is spent on creating, making, building, and doing, and less on sitting and listening to a teacher. This is so exciting to see!

We are making better use of our time - inside and outside the classroom - to grow and learn together, young and old. One simple act has transformed our school, and I know more simple acts like this will continue to do so.

I Forgot His Birthday

Every day is filled with lessons in leadership. This day was no exception.

It was the second to last day of school, a Monday. The day was going to be filled with celebrations and activities. The weekend had been a busy one. I was at a basketball tournament in Ohio with the boys, which was fun. But typically, I take a few moments over the weekend to reflect and plan for the week ahead, however that didn’t happen since we were so busy with games and traveling. So, as I drove into school, I walked through the schedule of the day, all the places I wanted to be sure to stop by and see.

The morning started well, everything falling into place. The bell rang for school to begin, so I took my post in the office to read the announcements. I prepare the announcements a day in advance - one less thing to think about in the morning. The kids were all ready for the announcements, in their places to say the pledge for the whole school, when I looked down at the announcement paper and saw it. My youngest son was celebrating his summer birthday today and I forgot all about it.

Tears began to well in my eyes. I’m such a terrible mom. It was on our refrigerator. I had it marked on the calendar. My secretary saw the horror in my eyes, gave me a reassuring chuckle, and I pulled myself together for the kids in front of me, sharing the announcements with the school in my cheery voice.

When the announcements were finished, I quickly retreated to my office and broke down in tears. The world around me was spinning, my focus on everything but what really mattered. I forgot my son’s birthday celebration.

After pulling myself together, I quickly texted my husband to see if he was available to run to the store to pick up treats. No luck. Then, I texted his teacher to see when they were going to celebrate his birthday, trying to figure out in between the assembly celebrations and programs when I could possibly get to the store to pick up treats. His teacher texted me back with an early afternoon time, so I had a short window to make it happen. She shared, “He told me he didn’t have his treats, but also said that he knows his mom didn’t forget and the treats are in your office.” Wow, I’m glad HE had faith in me!

The celebration assemblies came and went, and I scurried away to pick up treats for the class. They were in my office at just the right time for my little guy to pick up, and so he never knew the true story. Crisis averted.

In the grand scheme of things, the situation is rather minor. However, this experience still sits with me, even after school is out and all has settled a bit. It sits with me because it was a very important lesson for me to realize. You can never be your best for others or be able to take care of others the way you need to if you do not take care of yourself first.

As a leader, I want to do all I can to take care of the people around me. I know that if I do this, they will be better for those they serve, our students. I want to ensure all the ducks are in a row, giving my staff less to worry about so they can focus on the students. As a mom and wife, I aim to do the same. Take care of it so others don’t have to worry about it.

The problem is I never gave myself time to stop. Every person has to stop to rest their mind, reflect, and rejuvenate. Without whitespace, we are not of clear mind to make good decisions or ensure we are our best for others. If all we do is fill the buckets of others but never fill our own buckets, then our bucket will run dry at some point. If our bucket is dry, then we have no more to give. I determined I was at that point.

Thankfully, all was resolved that day and my son didn’t have a clue what had happened. Minor issue that was resolved without too much trouble. However, there may come a circumstance that doesn’t end as well, and it will all be due to my absent-mindedness caused by a lack of necessary whitespace.

It is critical as leaders that we rejuvenate and recharge. It is imperative that we take time for ourselves, filling our own buckets, so that we can be our best for others. We need to fill those buckets often, not just during breaks or weekends. People depend on us, and I want those around me to know they can count on me at all times. And so, this summer, I plan to rejuvenate and fill my bucket, but also make a change so that I can continue this practice in order to be my best for others all days of the year.